FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
