just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
