return my video game
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
