she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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