just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
