why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
