i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
