yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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