it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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