In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This toilet bowl is my home.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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