Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
