his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
