Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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