I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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