Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
