I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
