ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
