Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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