I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
