hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
