I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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