Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
