i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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