We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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