Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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