My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize