I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
