No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
