I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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