We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
