I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
