you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
