Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
