doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
