you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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