Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
