six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
