I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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