i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
