i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
