dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
