Slut skills are useful in every country.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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