Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
