I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
