The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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