Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
