is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
