Can i not drive my cunt home
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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