i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
