can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
