Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
