who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
