Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
