When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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