She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
