Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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