D3 body, D1 cock
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize