I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
