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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.

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• (310): View more from California

  If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.

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• (805): View more from California

  im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.

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• (831): View more from California

  It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?

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