You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
