a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
