please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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