Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
