I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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