I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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