the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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