oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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