its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
