all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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