yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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