I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
